Meet Lady WhistleHappy, basketball’s newest gossip columnist, who is here to get you ready for ALL the offseason gossip.
Dearest Gentle Reader,
My name is Lady WhistleHappy, the basketball equivalent to my cousin Lady Whistledown. While the gossip of London’s elite society is surely an intriguing venture, the real gossip happens over in the Americas — in the National Basketball Association.
The ton has the Bridgerton’s and the Featherington’s, whilst the NBA has the Jameses and the Tatums. Where there is Queen Charlotte across the pond, basketball’s monarch is none other than Adam Silver.
Now, with the latest social season coming to a close, and the Boston Celtics hoisting ye Larry O’B, it is time to retreat into the countryside and gather our wits in time for next season — when a whole new batch of eligible young gentlemen will battle it out in a quest for glory.
Yet, before we can gather for a game of pall mall, there is much to be done in NBA society. Yes, gentle reader, it is nearing time for the NBA Draft, as well as free agency.
A New Crop of League-Minded Debutants…
Just like the eligible young ladies of London society, the NBA also has a new crop of young people who are set to make their debuts into society. Whilst we have no feathers to adorn these players’ heads, the eligible class of 2024 have been visiting the modiste indeed, and will dress in their finest silks next week in Brooklyn for Draft Night.
Whispers amongst the house staff have been that this is a very weak draft class indeed, with debates going on which players will find their match sooner than others. While the hope is always for a love match of course, are there no long-term prospects in this year’s group? Will they gather hope of staying with their matches forever, only to be waived and enter the life of NBA Spinster?
Despite the question of eligibility in this years’ debutants, the most intriguing suitor of them all this season will be the Atlanta Hawks. After finding themselves in a particularly precarious situation last season, the Hawks have been granted the privilege of picking first in this year’s draft.
Our beloved Toronto Raptors on the other hand, had an unsuccessful season themselves, and exited to their country home for the summer with haste, much earlier than other teams in the ton. While this would usually grant them an earlier pick in the draft, they made a gentlemen’s agreement with Sir Gregg Popovich and the San Antonio Spurs that sent that pick to Texas this season.
The Toronto Raptors and Sir Masai Ujiri will now have the 19th and 31st picks in this draft. While some members of the esteemed ton may think that the crop of eligible suitors at 19 and 31 may not be the gems of the season, many have faith in Lord Ujiri and his ability to pick a diamond from the rough.
This season, Lord Silver has decided that there are simply too many debuts to track in one night, so the draft will be happening over two night’s. I wouldn’t make haste to accept any social invitations on either night, Toronto faithful — our beloved Raptors pick 19th on night one and 31st on night two.
Night one will see the first round of draft debuts make their match on Wednesday June 26th at 8pm in the Eastern time zone. The second round of matches will take place the following day, the 27th of June, at 4pm Eastern.
Very curios indeed, who the Toronto Raptors will find a match with.
After the Draft, comes the Free Agency Courtship…
One the season’s debutants have been welcomed into the ton, it will be time for the more established gentlemen to make their matches. While London’s society favours making one match for life, the NBA is more scandalous. The marriage contract has an end date, and suitors may negotiate their next contract and even make a new match in free agency season.
With the 2023-2024 social season officially over, teams in the NBA may starting courting their own eligible suitors now — those who are currently on the team. Teams cannot pursue gentlemen on other teams until the 30th of June, and match contracts cannot be signed until the 6th of July.
The Toronto Raptors will be pursuing a crop of gentlemen this season. The contracts of Immanuel Quickley and Gary Trent Jr. in particular are expiring, and there are still moves to make to return to winning ways. The Raptors must make haste in securing a few suitors after the lack of success they experienced last season.
One match that seems to be all but finalized is that of Immanuel Quickley, who arrived in Toronto as part of a gentlemen’s agreement mid-season. Sir Quickley’s contract is more restricted than most, and Toronto is keen to keep him. It would be most un-agreeable indeed if he was not signed back to the team.
The Raptors must also make a decision on the future of one Bruce Brown, who may be moved in an agreement prior to the start of next season. Mr. Brown’s stock is high at the moment, but may begin to plunder — Sir Ujiri may decide to move him in exchange for other assets.
A date in regards to this looms as well, as Mr. Brown’s contract has a “team option” stipulation. The contract states that the Raptors may decide to opt into Mr. Brown’s contract for another season, and if they do so, it would be a high indication that they intend to move him. This decision must be made by the 28th of June.
There is not any talk among the ton on where the destination of one Gary Trent Jr. will end up being. It will be interesting indeed to see if the Toronto Raptors will court Sir Trent to join them for another season.
Our Diamond also has a decision to make…
The Toronto Raptors had their own diamond of the season this past year, as the young gentleman Scottie Barnes flourished. He was the belle of the ball at the season’s most esteemed event — the All-Star Game. Mr. Barnes had an impressive season indeed, improving on his three-point shooting and leadership in particular.
While his season was cut short due to a broken bone, Mr. Barnes has seemed to make a full recovery. He will be poised to have another successful season next year, and with his counterparts of RJ Barrett and Immanuel Quickley at his side, the future of the Toronto Raptors could be very intriguing.
Yet, Mr. Barnes is approaching his fourth season on the market, and this means he will soon be eligible for a contract extension. There is no doubt that Sir Ujiri will throweth the satchel at Sir Barnes, and it will up to the young gentleman to decide his own fate.
The same situation looms for one RJ Barrett — and confidence is high on his future with the team. Sir Barrett was born and raised in here Toronto, and has very much enjoyed being close to home this season.
It is set to be a very busy courtship season indeed for the Toronto Raptors, and the NBA as a whole. Stay tuned into the Raptors HQ society papers to hear more on what happens among the ton this season.
Warmly,
Lady WhistleHappy