unless you like sweet corn, that is. Now who’s the crazy one?
Not sure about the rest of you, but this is the most frustrating off season ever. All this waiting and hoping and nothing seems to be happening. It’d be easy to slide down the slippery slope to wanting team management’s livers on a plate with some fried onions and maybe some fava bea…wait…that’s just me. Never mind that.
We just want a bat and a couple of arms. What have we got instead? A really good infielder. Not much bat. Like, again??? Man, a fella could choose eating the vital org…erm…some sort of esoteric act of extremeness under these conditions.
Let’s be stepping away from the brink of madness, shall we? Let’s choose growing corn instead. Now, this one’s for all of you stuck indoors in Canada slowly freeze drying as the interminable winter has its way with you. You need something green around you. Something growing. Something to give you life and hope. Now, many of you will choose The Devil’s Lettuce and I don’t blame you. You do you.
But, if that’s off the table (SWIDT?), then may I suggest sweet corn?
Who doesn’t love corn? NO ONE. Well, me. I don’t really care for it. But my wife and daughter love it. So, I’m growing corn. In a planter. Inside my lanai. It’s pretty cool to see how fast it grows and how much fun it is to pretend to be a farmer with my 4 year old.
So, for dreary Canadian winters, you can do the same thing indoors. You’ll need some supplies, of course. A good bucket for starters. Or you can go with an 18” deep planter. That’s what I’m using. It has a bottom watering feature which my corn loves. But a simple bucket from your local hardware store will do ya. Some good potting soil, like the stuff you grow vegetables in. Bear in mind that corn, particularly sweet corn, loves nitrogen A LOT. It will use up all the nitrogen in the soil in one season. So, you’ll need a 21-0-0 to a 34-0-0 ammonium sulfate fertilizer. Then sweet corn kernels. I got mine off Amazon, but if you have a source for Taber corn kernels you could do that. Lastly, broad spectrum grow bulbs with a light on a timer. Corn likes 14-16 hours of light, so timing it out is important. You want to replicate a nice long Canadian summer’s day.
Do the thing with the dirt in the bucket, the kernels planted 1.5 to 2” deep & at least 3-4” between them. Water in the morning when the soil is dry up to 2 inches down. About 1 inch of water per week. Just enough to get the soil moist 2” down. Should be every 2-3 days. When your stalks get beyond a foot tall, put in bamboo canes and use twist ties to secure the stalks. Let grow. Early on, apply a light dose of fertilizer when planting the corn seeds. Mid growth, side-dress with a nitrogen-rich fertilizer when the corn stalks develop. As the corn starts to produce silk tassels switch to a fertilizer with higher phosphorus and potassium levels.
Start now and you’ll have fresh corn by around opening day. If team management accomplishes the whole lotta nothing they seem determined to produce, we’ll at least have sweet corn.
And corn ain’t nothin’.